So... I didn't get OM. Because of my horrible GPA, and probably because of my conduct/lack of resilience/something bad. Goodbye hopes of anything big next year. Miss Lee spoke to me instead today though. She says she's going to 'monitor my progress' and stuff. I think she's just trying to be nice to stupid people like me who're the stupidest because they have brains but don't even try at all, but someone said maybe some miraculous exception will happen if I pull up my grades really high. Maybe it's not the end yet. I'm skeptical, of course - and I feel like there's no use even trying anymore, which is most likely true. I'll still try though, because I know I'm often wrong. Like how I thought the same last year when my grades bottomed and it resulted in all this.

That aside, today was the last day 210 was gathered in the 210 classroom. It started off kind of awkward and cliquey and lackadaisically sluggish at first, but then everyone sat in a circle and talked a bit until I had to leave for ED briefing. When I came back, people were crying all around. :'[ It hasn't gotten to me yet, you know. I somehow think tomorrow I'm going to walk into 210 and see everyone again and sit in a corner awkwardly listening to chatter, then get up and paedo everyone because I'm so bored, then engage in some banter and end up cutting the conversation short because of my 'perfect' interpersonal skills... or otherwise.

I know it doesn't sound very exciting or nice, but it's become a part of me, 210 has. There are amazingly awesome moments as well, like how all the cliques disband at dire times like NAPFA. Like how people ran with me, cheered for me instead of laughing at the very sweaty me who probably looked like a downright pig. Even if I got NIL for NAPFA in the end, it makes me smile every time I think about the run. How everyone cheered everyone regardless of how extroverted or introverted they were. Such is the power of 'class', of 210. It's become a part of me, and I guess that's why I assume it to be an ongoing routine. I'm starting to feel pangs of longing now though, slight hints - somewhat like a child who's looking at something really serious but only vaguely understands the true sadness of the situation. It's strange - I know it yet I cannot get myself to believe it. Strange, strange mind.

I can only hope that we'll all get great Sec 3 classes - ah heck, from the way everyone's pining over their classes from their Facebook messages and the many Sec 2 classrooms still alive after school hours today, I'm sure our batch has lots of great people. Okay, it's not really about the greatness of the class - it's how I'm afraid I won't be able to fit in, or that I'll even have to try to fit in. That I can't keep on being myself, that it'll be a stifling environment. I know I'm not exactly choosing the right words now and I'm getting a bit offensive, but honestly, no offence intended. My mind is really convoluted right now.

I'm in a write-y mood... TIME TO START NANOWRIMO?! Yes. Stop procrastinating. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's this challenge where you have to pen a 50, 000 word novella in a month, namely November. I've been doing it since P5 but obviously have never succeeded. Procrastination. Kills. Everything. I am fully aware of that yet I do not try. Why? YAY IT RHYMES.

Alright, I shall end off again now. I feel so strange and formal. Why? I swear my writing makes me seem different from who I really am. Or maybe I have split personalities. I don't know. Writing (or typing, in this modern age) makes me feel really reflective all the time. It's as if I'm someone else. Strange, strange.

In cryptic prose now since I'm venting my personal issues for a bit and I'll feel like an attention-seeker if I explain everything properly, I'll never drink wine/beer in my life because it's evil and drunkards are annoying and my little sis deserves to be given more credit for workign hand and pulling up her Cs and Ds to Bs and As, unlike her really stupid lazy idiotic immature big sister who got 2.86 overall GPA after her marks were moderated.

Yes, 2.86. Sucks. Isn't it scary how much impact a mere number can cause and how much it represents?